Commencement Address -- LCHE, 2011

Here is the speech I made at the LCHE Graduation exercises last Friday night. Enjoy . . .

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Lewis & Clark University theater professor Stephen Weeks once said, “Life should be lived so as to generate the maximum number of really interesting anecdotes.”

So when Donna Baker asked me to speak tonight, I made a list of possible stories I could tell that would produce useful advice for graduates.

Over the last few weeks, I've written this speech nine times, each draft telling a different story, and offering a different piece of advice.

I wanted to tell you about Mr. Nick, a man who knows something about cultivating highly-successful weirdos having raised one of his own, and the permission he gave me to be my own self, as gloriously strange as that might be.

I wanted to tell you about Erwin Schrodinger, Gordon Hayward, and the intersection of theoretical physics, a basketball championship, and the contentment that only comes from living in the moment.

I wanted to tell you the love story of Troy and Genevive, and how, just when you think you understand all the consequences of your actions, you're wrong.

I wanted to tell you about the life lesson I learned watching Erica watch basketball.

I wanted to tell you about the Eagles, and the greatest victory in my soccer coaching career – a 3-3 tie against a team that didn't win a single game all season.

I wanted to tell you about Fred Merkle, and how the most famous on-field mistake in baseball history led a future teammate to set a record that would stand for over 50 years.

I wanted to tell you about Sven and Pastor Dave, Vijay and Robert, and how much better it is to have a hand in somebody else's dream coming true even than realizing a dream of your own.

I wanted to tell you about my second-favorite character in the Bible: Malkijah son of Recab, the goldsmith from the book of Nehemiah who most beautiful, longest-lasting creation was a sewage dump, and how he was OK with being remembered for that and nothing else.

I wanted to tell you my own story, about addiction and recovery, death and resurrection, bubbles and roller coasters, and trying to do better today than yesterday.

And I'd love to be able to deliver all nine speeches. But I won't, for two reasons. One, Kathleen West told me I should only be up here for ten minutes, and if I go over, all she has to do is press a button and I disappear through the floor.

But the other reason is that somehow, every interesting anecdote in my life and all of my favorite stories in history end up bringing me back to the same place, to my favorite character in the Bible. We never know his name, and he's completely imaginary, yet his story resonates with me in some powerful ways.


The story is found in Matthew 25, beginning in verse 14:

14For (the kingdom of heaven) is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them.
15"To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey.
16"Immediately the one who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and gained five more talents.
17"In the same manner the one who had received the two talents gained two more.
18"But he who received the one talent went away, and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
19"Now after a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them.
20"The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, 'Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.'
21"His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.'
22"Also the one who had received the two talents came up and said, 'Master, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more talents.'
23"His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.'
24"And the one also who had received the one talent came up and said, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed.
25'And I was afraid, and went away and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.'
26"But his master answered and said to him, 'You wicked, lazy slave, you knew that I reap where I did not sow and gather where I scattered no seed.
27'Then you ought to have put my money in the bank, and on my arrival I would have received my money back with interest.
28'Therefore take away the talent from him, and give it to the one who has the ten talents.'
29"For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away.
30"Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." (Matthew 25:14-30, NASB)

My favorite character in the whole Bible is the guy in the middle. Oftentimes when we think of success and failure, we pay most of our attention to the extremes. The billionaire business mogul, the once-in-a-generation athlete, the TV host/magazine publisher/human brand name, and we run ourselves ragged trying to live up to that standard of success.

Or, we look at the bottom end of society – the criminal, the self-destroyer, the mind ravaged by drugs and the body ravaged by what it takes to get them – and wonder what we have to do to make sure we, and especially our kids, don't end up like that.

But for all of the attention we pay to the extremes, it is my belief that most of us live somewhere in between mind-boggling success and abject failure. And so for us, the telling example of this parable is not the super-success or the super-failure, but the two-talent man in the middle.

This is my favorite character in the entire Bible. Think about it. He starts with only the slightest head-start over the person who ends up thrown out. By the end of the parable he hasn't yet caught up to where the five-talent servant started. Yet when the Master comes to reward His servants, what matters is not what the two-talent man was able to give back to his Master, but the fact that he did the best he could with what he had.

And as I wrote those nine speeches over the last few weeks, I always ended up back at this central idea: success in life is about making the most of the opportunity. The first step in becoming a failure is to hide from the world. But the great stories are always about people who saw the world as it is and engaged it. Success in life happens when we're willing to risk getting hurt.

And sometimes hurt happens. Gordon Hayward missed the shot that would have given Butler the national championship. Mr. Nick died the night my Jeopardy show aired; I'll never know whether he saw it or not. For every dream I've had a hand in seeing come true, I know of ten that are still waiting.

I miss Amanda, too.

As home school parents, part of our motivation might be to protect our kids from the big bad world. And there's no denying that the world is big, and the evil in it is dangerous.

But to the graduates tonight, I want to say this – Don't let the potential for getting hurt lead you to hide inside a bubble. Don't bury your talent. Even if you don't become the superstar, do the best you can with what you've been given.

I can't wait to hear the stories you'll be able to tell.